I heard a quote long ago. It went along the lines of, “don’t care about what other people think of you. They’re too worried about what you think of them.” I was really shy growing up so I thought this was eye opening at the time I heard it. I think it’s what started me to get me out of my shell.
However, as I get older, I reflect on it now and again. Many people think about the title question a lot. They care about what other people think of them. They take in everything others say to them and they try and be people-pleasers. For others, they couldn’t care less. They will do their own thing and no one is going to get in their way. It’s all about them.
If I was being interviewed right now and I was asked if I think you should care about what others think of you or not; my answer now would be, “it’s both”. Let me explain what I mean.
DON’T care about what they think when it comes to self-improvement. When you’re in the business world, a lot of it has to do with being a leader. A lot of what it means to be a leader is about getting yourself in check. When you’re looking to improve yourself, yes, don’t look for other’s approval. A lot of people don’t care to improve themselves and just look to blame everything on others. They never look to themselves as the possibility of contributing to the problem so do not take advice from them.
It reminds me of a quote by Leo Tolstoy. He said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” Changing yourself is the first step to changing the world. Just like everything, it takes baby steps. We need to improve ourselves in order for others to see. That way, we can inspire others to do the same and only you know what it is you need to work on. That’s the only voice you ought to listen to. They say light drives out the darkness and they’re right. Be a light and you’ll begin to see the darkness fade away.
DO care about what they think when it comes to presenting yourself to the masses. If you want people to listen to you, you don’t need to be a celebrity; but there is a reason people gravitate to them. Just look at them. Fresh cut, and big, white smile. They keep up the maintenance on themselves.
Very few people will listen to a homeless person. It shouldn’t be that way but the fact of the matter is, it is. When you practice good hygiene and speak even slightly eloquent, people are more likely to listen to you. If you look like you don’t care about yourself though, they’ll think you won’t care about them or worse, you’ll harm them. In this regard, you ought to take other’s preconceived notions into account. Make them believe you are a kindhearted person.
It reminds me of a video I saw a long time ago. I can’t remember every detail about it but it showed a young black man who had himself filmed walking through his neighborhood. He wasn’t doing anything bad or causing any disturbance, but he was dressed in a typical young adult attire which included a hoodie and I believe the sagging pants. The video captured very few people interacting with this young man throughout his walk even though he would say hello first.
A short time later, this same young man returned home and immediately changed into a suit and tie and recorded himself again taking a stroll through the same neighborhood he just returned from. This time was different, as you can imagine. Not only were more people interacting with him this time around, but many of them actually started the conversation.
There’s a saying that goes, “no one cares about how much you know until they know how much you care.” On the other side of the coin, we need to show people we actually care about them. This is part of what being a light in your community is all about. Once people get to know you, that’s when they will start to value your opinion and you can make the world a better place.
Comments